Never is Never …it’s one of those things that parents say to their kids.

We have all gone through the Absolute Phase. For some people this phase lasts only a couple of years, around the ages of 6 or 7 and then they come out of it only to return to it in their teenage years, when it can last for much longer.

Never say Never @ Organising Chaos Blog

For me, the Absolute Phase lasted a little over a decade. I don’t think I came out of it… I stayed in it right into my teenage years. I don’t know if this means that my adolescence started earlier and it blended with my childhood, or whether I was (yes, was, in the past) a very melodramatic human for a long time.

The thing is that, although we grow out of those teenage dramatic years, we continue making absolute statements.  I would never live there…  I would never do that….

I have made those statements and I have ended up doing exactly the things that I said I wouldn’t do.

I’d never buy my child a gun… My kids can currently arm the whole neighborhood with guns, arrows, light-sabers, crossbows and axes.

I would never live in a housing estate.… We live in a lovely housing estate full of amazing neighbours where my kids get to play soccer, jump walls and climb trees… all the things kids should be able to do and most kids nowadays don’t get to do.

Never say Never - Organising Chaos Blog

I am making a huge effort not to make those statements anymore. Not because I don’t want to go back on them. I have no problem with that. Changing opinion is a sign of growing up, maturing, developing…

I just want to lead by example. I want to be able to teach my kids that there is no point in making those statements because we are always growing and our opinions change.

I want my kids to have an open mind.

Chaotic Itzi






Last week was my niece’s and my nephew’s birthdays. One is in Spain and the other one in England. One turned 9 and the other turned 10. 

9 and 10!!! They are only numbers until you start thinking of them in terms of your eldest child’s age!!! How can that be? I wasn’t that long ago when he was my ” Moon Face” boy obsessed about elephants! 
On growing up - Am I ready @ Organising Chaos BlogIt really hit me! Next birthday up is Big Monkey’s. In 2 months he will be turning 9!!!!!!  —- Am I ready?
On growing up - Am I ready @ Organising Chaos BlogI love our chats, our conversations, our secrets. I love seeing the person that he is becoming. He is very sensitive, compassionate, very determined and (extremely) stroppy at times. He is very much his own person and a better and improved version of Mr B and I at the same time.

But sometimes I feel that all this is happening way too fast! 
On growing up - Am I ready @ Organising Chaos Blog
Yes, we do all age at the same rate. But children not only grow, they develop, they are  constantly expanding  their minds (and ours), they are  searching, investigating, learning…. It is beautiful to see. And a bit heartbreaking.

“Am I ready for this?” – that is not really the question. It doesn’t matter if I am ready because it is happening! I better get ready.

The real question is: Am I missing it? 
I better not blink!

Chaotic Itzi



So the blog is back up (insert a super happy dance!!). And that I still have some hair on my head (another happy dance!!).
It stills need some tweaking, some messing about but I am happy for the most part. I have missed blogging, the routine, the interaction… I have missed you!

growing older is no excuse to grow up

The last couple of weeks have felt very grown up. I know that it is a silly thing to say since I am 40 (yep, I said it!) and I should feel like a grown up all the time but the thing is, I don’t. Not really.

I still feel like the girl I was when I was 25, happy-go-lucky, just doing my thing. The only difference is that my thing has changed. Before I would be looking for gigs to go to at the weekend and now I am debating whether or not change my mortgage provider. Before I would organise weekends away with friends and now I am checking the weather to see if I can go to the playground with the boys and have a picnic there. You see, priorities and tasks change, but the person you are inside doesn’t. Not much anyway. I still love meeting up with friends, having dinner with them, going away with Mr B, going to gigs… but I also love having picnics in my sitting-floor with the kids when the weather is bad, and making pizza with them, and decorating my own house.

One thing I don’t enjoy about being a grown up is paperwork : mortgage, life insurance, pension… arghhhh…. even thinking about gives me a rash.

we never really grow up

Mr B and I always had a joke that Adult Films should be all about insurance, taxes, houses… any kind of form, but not about sex. Anybody can have sex, but you need to be an adult, or at least behave like one, when you are dealing with paperwork.

The good thing is once it is all done and filed away, you can go back to being your normal self : a 40 going on 25-year-old happy-go-lucky kind of girl in my case. Oh happy days!

Do you feel like a grown up yet?
Chaotic Itzi