Never is Never …it’s one of those things that parents say to their kids.
We have all gone through the Absolute Phase. For some people this phase lasts only a couple of years, around the ages of 6 or 7 and then they come out of it only to return to it in their teenage years, when it can last for much longer.
For me, the Absolute Phase lasted a little over a decade. I don’t think I came out of it… I stayed in it right into my teenage years. I don’t know if this means that my adolescence started earlier and it blended with my childhood, or whether I was (yes, was, in the past) a very melodramatic human for a long time.
The thing is that, although we grow out of those teenage dramatic years, we continue making absolute statements. I would never live there… I would never do that….
I have made those statements and I have ended up doing exactly the things that I said I wouldn’t do.
I’d never buy my child a gun… My kids can currently arm the whole neighborhood with guns, arrows, light-sabers, crossbows and axes.
I would never live in a housing estate.… We live in a lovely housing estate full of amazing neighbours where my kids get to play soccer, jump walls and climb trees… all the things kids should be able to do and most kids nowadays don’t get to do.
I am making a huge effort not to make those statements anymore. Not because I don’t want to go back on them. I have no problem with that. Changing opinion is a sign of growing up, maturing, developing…
I just want to lead by example. I want to be able to teach my kids that there is no point in making those statements because we are always growing and our opinions change.
I want my kids to have an open mind.