its hard to relax


Back from holidays. Bittersweet…

It certainly feels more bitter than sweet at the moment with the drop in temperatures and the darker colour of the sky…  but once we adjust, it is good to be home.

And there is so much to do… so much….

On top of the ridiculously long list of things that I wanted to do before we left, we now have to empty suitcases, go through the kids’ clothes and see which clothes are destroyed after a summer of fun and which ones are not destroyed and see if they are suitable for next year. Wash the clothes and put them away. A tedious task that I hate doing with every cell of my being.

Mr B is still on holidays this week and since I currently have no job to go back to, we want to have family time, keep the holiday feeling going a little bit longer despite the rain. Family time, doing things and visiting places, but also chilling out, watching family films… having a few lazy days before going back to work/school/routine.


Lazy days for me are weird. I mean, I am super good at lazing on the couch in my tracksuit watching crap tv… super good indeed, like I was born for it… But somehow, there is a nagging feeling at the back of my head telling me that I should get up and do something… So I watch an episode of something and go upstairs to empty a suitcase. Watch another episode and de-clutter a drawer. All small stuff that I do half-heatedly and that ends up creating more work in the long term.

I hate it. I hate feeling guilty just because I am chilling out.

Why is it so difficult to just chill out?
I mean, I might as well just not chillax and start ticking things of my list…. nah….

Chaotic Itzi

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