Do you ever feel like you are constantly chasing your tail? I have been feeling like that since we came back from holidays. I don’t know what it is. It’s not like I have more jobs now than I had before the summer holidays, but for some reason I can’t seem to have enough time to get all my jobs done in a timely manner. It’s not that I am not organised enough. I know what I have to do and how I have to do it, but I just don’t seem to have the drive to get the things done.
It’s not like I am depressed or anything serious. It’s quite the opposite in fact, I am in great form. I wake up in the morning with a smile in my face surrounded by my gorgeous boys, the sun is shinning, the temperature is still quite pleasant… it’s all good… and, yet, I feel like all I am doing is laundry and cleaning, and I have no time for projects. I don’t understand it. My house hasn’t got any bigger and I don’t have any more clothes, and yet I don’t seem to get time for the fun part, the projects, the recipes, the blogging.
It’s really frustrating me. It feels like it is all work and no play. I miss having time to be creative, to take photographs, to try out delicious recipes, to be me. Not a mum, not a wife, not a family manager, just to be me, Chaotic Itzi. It feels like a vicious circle – I am finding it so hard to find the motivation to get my house jobs done; because I take longer getting the jobs done I end up with no time for my projects and because of that, I end up resenting the chores and delaying them and so having no time for projects again. It’s infuriating and I can only blame myself. We all need some me time, some time out. Time to express ourselves, to become whole.
The good thing is that I have decided to make some changes. They are not big changes, they are small little things. But I am determined to enforce them and make things happen. I am making lists, scheduling my cleaning days and planning meals in advance. That alone will free up some quiet morning time to get things done. I am determined. I have plenty of coffee on the ready and vitamins bought – I am fighting the slump.